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Tuesday, March 12, 2002
Starting Small
The other night, my husband got a call from a friend of his. He was at home with his two children, a 2-month-old and a 22-month-old. He couldn't talk. He just needed a little support. "I don't like this. It's really hard," he told him. That week the mother had started going for a daily evening swim, leaving the father with the boys for a mere hour and a half. Though sometimes that can seem like an eternity. I told my husband to tell him he needed to start small, lower his expectations. He should try to relax and enjoy his children. Concentrate on keeping them alive. Next try alive and happy. Gradually build up to alive, happy, well-fed, and pursuing age-appropriate educational play activities. With luck, my own children may reach that last one sometime in their middle teens.
For anyone still working on the basics, I visited a great site recently, sponsored by the Children's Health Environmental Coalition. It is full of information about keeping your home safe, but it goes way beyond outlet covers and toilet locks. There's a quiz you can take to get an idea of how safe an environment your home truly is. From air quality to carpet and cleaning products to food safety and water purity, this site has it all. It prompted me send my well-water in for its overdue annual testing and make an appointment to have my gas appliances serviced. I've also been considering switching to fewer chemical cleaning products. But, I'm unable at this time to rid my home of all vinyl blinds and carpet, a prospect that reaches well into the thousands of dollars. (Yes, I did the math.)
I think it's a wonderful site. But keep it in perspective. It is so easy to become overwhelmed by all of the things we SHOULD be doing. And so easy to lose our enthusiasm for the things we'd really like to try. Start small, pick one or two changes that you can reasonably make and then relax. Maybe you'll find yourself wanting to make a few more. Maybe not. I think an annual visit to this web-site sounds good, a little check-up for my home's health.
Christine 7:35 PM
Monday, February 11, 2002
A little roast pig
I was looking for something the other day. Something I'd tucked away in a safe place, you know, where I'd remember it. That rarely works for me, so I don't know why I persist. I found a little piece of history, a tiny reminder of the kind of mother I once thought I wanted to be. From my pajama drawer, I pulled a 1-inch plastic roast pig that came in a pirate set someone had given my son when he was 3-years-old. I had hidden it away before he'd even noticed it. He's nine now. And he has accumulated lots of toys, games, even books that depict way worse than a pirate feast. But then, I thought I could protect him, influence him maybe, by keeping out of his hands any toy that seemed violent. To me, a sometimes vegetarian, a small pig-on-a-spit fit that description.
I'm not sure when I changed. We've managed to keep our home weapon free, with the exception of a wooden Davy Crockett rifle his uncle helped him choose on a trip to Disney World. It was probably after the birthday party with friends who gave action figures with weapons and military vehicles. My husband and I laughed at the neurotic mother I once was, the mother who believed that small plastic roast pig would harm her child.
But I am also a teensy bit proud of myself. While other boys his age are gunning down everything in sight in the worst of video games, my son reads the warning labels on video games at the rental store and asks, "I know you won't let me have MILD VIOLENCE, but is COMIC MISCHIEF okay?" Well, okay, so maybe we've made him a little overcautious.
I put the little pig back in my drawer. I'm keeping it a while longer.
Christine 8:11 PM
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